


Amaranthine

by baeconandeggs



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-08 21:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6873130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeconandeggs/pseuds/baeconandeggs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Baekhyun longed to be a star, so he could become a part of Chanyeol’s universe. To Chanyeol, <i>he</i> was the moon, shimmering so exquisitely in the night sky.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Amaranthine

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank the mods for being so kind and patient ;u; Thank you B, for taking your time proofreading while you were busy with school (I can’t thank you enough). Thank you, A and S, for being great friends and for encouraging me to finish my first fic. (ノ゜ω゜) ノ

_“What if… I can’t find you?”_

_“I’ll look for you, even in the most elusive edges, through the wafting of the first glimmer of day to the faint ague of night.”_

The night is cold. It doesn’t add up to the fact that Baekhyun feels so warm. A drenching humidity molds into him like a second skin, staining even the unreachable spots. This foreign feeling has discerned a natural habit which undergoes lucid with time. He breathes in the fragments of lost memories and fails to assemble the scattered pieces together so as to fathom the owner of the voice calling his name with a drip of tenderness, the face that no matter how hard he hassles to recognize, ends up in a blur that leaves him at a loss. 

 

 

The palpable scent of life wafts through the brightly lit room, rows of freshly watered flower bouquets shimmering contrasting hues offer a sense of serenity; dark figures can be captured from the reflection of the glass, blurring gradually from the youth’s evident drowsy state, long lashes fan softly over his rosy cheeks. His shift—or rather, their shift—has just begun. 

“Earth to Baekhyunnie.” A light chuckle and warm arms drift him off from his reverie. He pouts when those same frail looking yet firm limbs dishevel his blond hair, silently basking in the gesture. “You’re so out of it.” 

Baekhyun shakes his tilted head, stretching his limbs clad in a navy pullover. “Don’t worry about it, Joo.” 

The female coos at the younger’s wide eyes, manicured hands gripping ripped jeans. “What’s the matter? Couldn’t sleep well because you had a nightmare?” 

“You guessed wrong. It’s rather… embarrassing, so this mouth will stay zipped.” As if on emphasis, the boy’s dainty hands form a zipping gesture to his pursed lips. 

Joohyun rolls her eyes, “You’re no fun.” 

Baekhyun shuts his eyes in defeat, “Just—wait till we finish our shift and I’ll think about it, yeah?”

“I’m busy tonight,” she conveys with finality. 

Baekhyun is used to it by now. How naive of him to believe that for a moment his sister had changed. 

“ _Busy?_ Busy as in hanging out with your junkie group of friends?” 

Joohyun clicks her tongue, “Kinda blunt, are we?”

“Sometimes I wonder…whatever happened to you,” the boy’s mouth curls up into a bittersweet grin. “But then, I realize you’ve always kept things from me. I’m not as innocent as you think.”

The girl looks down at the ground, subconsciously fiddling with the hem of her stripped sweater. 

“I understand it’s hard, but there are other ways to deal with…hardships.” Baekhyun offers a timid shrug.

“You know nothing, kid,” Joohyun spits out. “Don’t act like you’re more experienced. You have no right to order me how to live my fucking life.” 

Before he can stop himself, a tear rolls down his cheek. _Don’t cry_ , he chides himself. How more gullible could he get? Forgive him for giving a shit about his sister’s whereabouts. 

Baekhyun wipes his falling tears with his cotton sleeve, leaving his pale face flushed. 

“You’re not the only one who feels lonely.” Baekhyun says, dashing to the front door before he lets her see him in his most vulnerable state. He hates crying. He hates being weak. For the most part, he hates _himself_. 

 

It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, Baekhyun thinks. The aching words running in his head like a mantra keep him caged in this current state of idleness. Everything just comes shattering down, gradually smothering the haze of what used to be. 

As he heads out of the flower shop, his mind feels dizzy upon being hit by the rush of cold air. He wraps his arms around himself, trying to calm his quickened breath. He keeps his eyes downcast— careful so as to not bump into anyone—in order to avoid curious looks and fabricated concern of strangers. It’s futile, for his heart seems to betray him, teeth drawing blood on his lips so as to deter his deplorable quivering and the sobs threatening to slip from his mouth in any moment. 

He carries his feeble body with the help of the crisp wind, choosing to rest on a park nearby, coincidentally found just in the middle of the woods, Baekhyun is too dazed to step out of his reverie and ponder just how he got this far from the shop—his home. But then again, it’s a small town and it’s possible that he walked across four blocks to get where he’s at now. He slumps down on a secluded bench located in front of a sparkling pond, shutting his eyes and rejoicing in the eerie quietness of the place. That is, until the sound of a fallen branch breaking catches his unfocused attention, causing him to straighten his posture and dart wary eyes around the woods, pausing just in his frontal field of vision. A man clad in a black coat is found crouching down, facing the body of water and possibly hell-bent on feeding what looked like ducks. Baekhyun watches this scene in a daze, thinking his tired state is playing tricks with his mind, hence the hallucinations as the side effect. After rubbing his eyes, he expects to find nothing but is taken aback when the same figure is looming over the pond, showing off his great stature despite the distance there’s between him and the stranger. The man turns slightly, letting the boy admire a fragment of his features and take his breath away all the same; his profile is handsome, from his tall nose to his jet black locks moving in sync with the wind. He shoves his hands into the pockets of his ebony trench coat, and saunters off his sight, leaving him with a sense of dread and anticipation.

 

He was hooked. He was absorbed by his unfathomable aura—his side view was the only thing on his mind since last Saturday—the day he saw him for the first time. Since then, He started to encounter him in his dreams, wondering what his face looked like, how tall he was, what his interests were, and whether he’d see him again. 

 

Baekhyun wakes up with a spark of newfound motivation inside him, he almost forgets about the argument he and his sister had days ago, too engrossed in the feelings bubbling up his stomach at the thought of seeing him. 

After showering and shrugging on one of his favorite green sweaters, he dashes out of the house, sighing when he feels wet drops sticking to his clothing. He runs off to find shelter, crying internally for thinking that leaving his umbrella behind was a good idea. This had to happen the day he planned to look just a tad more decent. 

He admits at this moment he’d rather amble to the woods to see if he’ll somehow gather luck and find the man for a second time, instead of standing idle beneath an oxidized rooftop. Besides, it doesn’t help at all the fact that he’s currently freezing to death. Looks like the world is going against his former plans. Perfect. 

The truth is, this new interest has distracted him from what’s going on in his life: his beloved mother, his sister, and his own struggles. Even so, he considers himself an optimist by heart, he’s a keen believer that every one should find happiness even in the most desolated corner, in the insignificant and ordinary. Although it may sound far-fetched, he thinks there is good in everyone, and it’s not really difficult for him to empathize with other people, hence why he chose to major in Psychology. At the current age of 20, his thoughts gravitate towards the prickling sensation that sinks in his stomach whenever the future is brought up. He’s hopeless, and he’s clearly aware of this fact, moreover there are moments like right now, when he finds himself cuddled up in pristine sheets, thin fingers grasping a plate filled with a slice of cheesecake, fork fizzling on snatching a mouthful, all thanks to being too engrossed in his romantic comedy movie marathon. He’s practically whining for the heroine to grow some courage and stop being so damn indecisive when the sound of the doorbell ringing disrupts his internal ruckus. He pauses the movie and narrows his eyes to see if by any chance the sound was a product of his imagination, when the buzz recoils through the ivory walls. Baekhyun tilts his head, wondering who could be waiting at the other side of the door, more so at this ungodly hour. The ebony sky offers a sense of dread and watches him intently with its blinding pallid eye. 

He doesn’t know how to react when a body falls over him the moment he opens the door. 

His eyes turn wide open when flickers of recognition run through his system. He helps the body stand, clammy palms grasping weakly the back of his neck. 

“Hold on, we’re almost there.” Baekhyun turns worriedly to the brunette, gently moving locks from her sweaty forehead. 

Upon reaching his sister’s room, he kicks the door open and hastily lets her frail body fall on the mattress like a stray feather on a bed of leaves.

Baekhyun runs his hands through his now disheveled blond curls, wary orbs scanning the female’s body from head to toe. He starts by unclasping the heels from her swollen feet, followed by changing her clothing from the skimpy dress to a fresh pair of old sweatpants and an oversized shirt, before draping her shivering body with a blanket. He’s about to leave when Joohyun utters a word that almost causes him to break down right in that moment.

“Sorry…”

With one last meaningful glance towards the sleeping lump he shuts the door. 

 

The sound of the birds chirping and the dazzling sunset tell him a secret, accompanied by a faint whisper. They put him in a spell and cause his wobbly limbs to walk by themselves until he’s perfectly aware of his surroundings, darting his eyes to look above the rows of trees and the sapphire lake where he saw him. He drags his feet closer to the woods, and looks down in disappointment when he finds no sign of the male, the eerie quietness welcoming once again. He’s about to run back to his house when the sound of splattering coming from the water freeze him in place. He crouches behind a tier of bushes and lifts his head, just a tad enough to have a decent view of the lake without being seen. His body leans forward when his vision makes out a figure swimming underneath the water, knuckles turning white at the sudden apprehension filling his senses. A shaky hand comes to cover his mouth when he’s on the brink of uttering a sound of surprise the second the person’s face surges from the water, hands pushing back raven locks, revealing the same profile of the man in the black coat from last Saturday. 

His heart forgets how to work the moment he stares at the wonder that is his face. 

Baekhyun is so engrossed in imprinting every feature of his face into the deepest creases of his mind—in case he doesn’t see his beautiful face for a third time, thus he fails to process the juncture the male fully emerges from the water, beads dripping everywhere and evoking the blond’s heart to freeze. His instincts scream at him to run and don’t look back, but he opts that hiding behind one of the forest’s trees is a better option for now. He wants to savor this moment for just a while more. 

He doesn’t dare to look at his bare body, flushing just at the thought. His eyes slid open once again to find a stray white cat staring up at him with a keen intensity. He jumps back and tries to calm the unsteady beating of his heart, maintaining a fixed stare competition with the small animal, as if that was going to work in order to keep the cat quiet. 

He turns away to look at the male and blushes profusely at the image. This is not good for his heart. Not at all. 

The cat howls and Baekhyun knows he’s dead meat. The man turns to look around in search of the source of the noise, thus he takes the opportunity to sprint and do what the little voice in his head had told him from the start.

*: ･ﾟ✧*: ･ﾟ✧

“So you’re telling me you saw Adonis?”

It’s a warm autumn day, the sky resembling a painting that Baekhyun wants to frame so he can be able to stare up at it without his eyes watering and shutting from the intensity of the sun rays. Today is a school day, hence why he couldn’t visit the forest in hopes of encountering the man for the third time. He finds himself seated beneath the cover of one of the oak trees the campus is surrounded with. He needed to let his flutter of excitement out and his best friend Sehun, an architecture major, is the best option for venting out his recent infatuation.

“Not exactly. But I’d say he’s close enough.” 

Sehun splutters, “Who in their right mind showers in a lake?” 

Baekhyun shrugs, stuffing a bite of strawberry donut into his mouth. 

“Moreover, I can’t believe this coming from you, Byun,” Sehun says, crinkling his nose in distaste.

“I assure you I didn’t ogle at him! I just wanted to see his face properly.” 

“You saw him while he showered!” 

“I didn’t— “

Sehun raises his hands in surrender. “Alright, I get it. You aren’t a pervert.”

Baekhyun nods.

“You’re a stalker.” 

Baekhyun sighs, patting the taller’s head just the way he knows the younger absolutely hates. “You’re a great friend, Sehun.” 

The latter brushes his hand away. “You’re still doing that,” Sehun points at the pink sweater Baekhyun is wearing. 

Baekhyun looks down at his lap, fiddling with the hem of the pullover before looking up and offering the male a fond smile. It made his heart clench in his chest, knowing that people notice small details about him. Of course, Sehun is his best friend—having met each other the first day of high school—and it’s the least he should know about him, but still, it makes him feel special, loved. It’s a reminder that he’s not alone, that there are people out there who still care for him. 

It’s the fourth year since he started carrying out this custom—he realized it made him feel protected and it reminded him of his mother all the same. Baekhyun remembers yearningly the memories he keeps close of his mother explaining to him that flowers were just like people: they came in different shapes and colors, but they were all beautiful nonetheless. She taught him about the language of flowers and about the color palette she used in her paintings. Depending on his mood, Baekhyun chooses a color that fits his aura for each day, just like today, he chose to wear pink. Pink, the color of sweetness, innocence…love. Not to mention, it makes him feel rather foolish and naive. Great. 

When he arrives to his house, Baekhyun walks up the stairs and rushes to his bedroom, where he starts by scanning his drained reflection through the mirror. Shrugging on a cardigan and grabbing one of his psychology books, he dashes out the room and prays that this opportunity won’t be taken to waste. 

The view of the rows of trees towering over him should come off as intimidating, but with the soft wind breeze fanning his blond fringe over his face makes him feel all the more comforted, the air resembling a timid yet earnest caress. He opts to close his book after noticing his eyes drooping and watering from the drowsiness, suddenly gripping his hands on the wooden surface when he’s hit with an unfathomable twinge that makes him self-conscious, even with the uncanny lull enveloping him. 

Baekhyun brings his calm orbs to the sky that has turned a cerulean hue, bringing a sudden heart-wrenching feeling to his chest. He’s grown accustomed to it, yet he’s never known the exact reason as to why he feels a void, as if his insides were sucked out and all that was remaining was flesh and bone. He doesn’t understand a lot of things, actually. His birthmark, for example, a star cluster located on his ankle that has recently been itching for no apparent reason at all. It’s rather notorious, for he chooses to hide it beneath long jeans and sealed shoes. He doesn’t really tell anyone, that’s the thing about him, he bottles everything up until his feelings come spilling at once, creating a tragic mess. A mess no one—included himself—has bothered to clean up. 

He lets out a sigh and decides to crawl closer to the pond, choosing to settle down on the slightly moist grass and gaze at the stars. They really are breathtaking, he thinks. When he was younger, he longed to be a star, for he regarded them as beautiful, untouchable, and he imagined viewing the world from up there, thus he used to be especially fond of his birthmark at that time, when his surroundings happened to be lighted up in a pastel tint and what he feared the most seemed to be out of reach. He can’t deny it anymore—everyday is like a battle, having to gulp down the unbearable anguish, to face life without his mother’s genuine words of encouragement and her sweet forehead kisses. He barely notices the salty drops running down his cheek. Why is he so damn sensitive? The stars and the faint blowing of the wind somehow bring him comfort, making his breathing even and causing his clammy hands to free their sturdy grip from the strands of the grass. 

 

_“Essentially, we’re stars.” The male whispers to Baekhyun’s ear tenderly._

_“The blood flowing through our veins contains a protein that has four iron atoms incorporated into its structure called hemoglobin. Iron is usually produced in one place; it can only be forged in the core of dying stars.”_.

 _He catches hold of a lock of his brown hair, twirling it between his fingers before tucking it behind his ear, touch lingering._.

 _“In other words, we’re made of stardust. You could say you’re a star.”_.

 

Baekhyun wakes up with a smile etched onto his features, feeling unexplainably lighter for no apparent reason. Then, he hears chirping. He slid his eyes open, feeling the grazing of the gust against his face. He’s on the verge of crawling out the leafy cot, when he runs his hands over a heavy cloth covering his frame, eyes turning wide upon realizing that someone must have left their coat to enfold him out of pity. He’s practically teetering on his heels, he can’t think straight, mind becoming a fuss, with just one thought in mind: to get home safely. He drapes the coat over his shoulders and basks in the comforting warmth radiating from it. 

When he’s finally inside the secure cream colored confines of his room, Baekhyun takes a good look at the cotton twill material, truth to be told, he doesn’t like to fool himself with unrealistic assumptions, but it doesn’t hurt to pretend the owner of the coat is actually the man that has been the object of his dreams, the one person that has made his heart flutter with a sense of hopefulness. He hugs the coat close to his chest, pressing his crinkling nose to the ebony material in order to inhale the scent of cologne and cocoa, putting him into an instant trance. 

 

 

 

 _I’ll seek for your familiar fragrance_  
_in every life that I encounter_  
_a new star will be added_  
_to the constellation tattooed on my chest;_  
_don’t let go of my hand,_  
_I yearn every day that you won’t forget my existence,_  
_for I breathe everything that is you._

 

 

 

An enduring gleam. The light after a much dreaded darkness that grants an umbra the right path they belong to. One can have a myriad of inquiries filling their heads to the brim, foreseeing answers yet refraining from allowing light to shed on them, too afraid to be judged.  
In a way, people are like galaxies, scads of strewed flickers plastered in different sizes and shapes. The unequivocally truth is, some will always stand out from the rest—moreover, if one refers to the matter of seeking out for the motive as to why you find yourself breathing in the gush of spring air, why your heart keeps pumping blood. The answer for this array of thoughts finds itself engraved on flesh. The sanguine yet bittersweet feeling of your soul being connected to another, of feeling their presence at the minimum itch on skin, sparkles tattooing themselves on each other’s body gradually and then all at once.  
Chanyeol muses this theory with the wisdom he’s acquired over the lapse of time, crisp blow swathing his frame as the reminiscence of the much needed embrace he longs for. His eyes seem to wander around the eerie venue, a nostalgic aura seems to wash over him as he can’t help but yearn delicate hands that hold him close—warm orbs that exhibit light, tender beams that cause his heart to clench in utter fondness. 

He ambles down the rugged road, knowing the path to his home by heart, letting the sounds of the night offer him a mellow company. He wraps his arms around himself, in an attempt to warm himself up but to no avail, mouth slightly curling up at reminiscing the sleeping figure back in the forest. He feels his stomach sink in remorse for having left the boy alone in the woods, but then again, he didn’t feel with the right to wake him up, much less carrying him to his home, opting for draping his shivering body with his dark trench coat. With one last longing glance, he had left behind the blond haired angel and the fixed flaring of his heart that haunted him for what seemed like an eternity. 

The first time Chanyeol met Baekhyun, or more exactly, the first encounter he remembers and enshrines the juncture in the deepest voids of his heart seems like a blur yet it still tugs at his heartstrings. The moment he took notice of the fact that his partner couldn’t be able to remember him in every life caused a great impact on him. The nightmares are constant; sleepless nights due to waking up panting and breathless, running out of energy to just go on with his life somehow made him stronger and more determinant to find him at all costs. And with every intake of breath, every gush of air, every blink of an eye he’d be a step closer to make the one who his heart belonged to eternally acknowledge his calling for once. Truth to be told, there were some occasions when Baekhyun was the first one to seek him out instead of the other way around, these moments were special, they gave Chanyeol a new flicker of hopefulness, that someday he could remember him— _them._

That night, he stands stark naked in front of the full body mirror lying idly in his room. The sight that greets him looks drowsy, the only aspect of him he can truly recognize are the marks decorating his firm chest. His calloused hands trace the shape of the constellations, circling the vivid galaxies surrounding his skin. His finger stops on the most recent mark, a small star located in his collarbone. He strives to turn the frown on his chapped lips upside down to no avail. He opts for calling it a day, wrapping his arms around himself as silent comfort, yearning for Baekhyun’s sleeping body next to him, to be able to hold him and savor him one more time. 

The next morning, Chanyeol wakes up with the help of the obnoxious buzz of his alarm, followed by the whiff of batter cake drifting through the ajar entry to his room. He stretches his rather long limbs, rubbing the drowsiness out of his troubled eyes. He opens the drawer of the small desk next to his bed, rummaging through its contents, eyes glittering in utter adoration upon coming into contact with coldness. His right hand grips the gold bracelet with a clasped dainty star in the center. His thumb runs across every edge and peak, clutching the delicate pendant into a fist. _I love you, Byun Baekhyun._

Knocking back some sense into his mind, Chanyeol carefully sets the chain back into the drawer, starting off his day just like every other. 

“Breakfast is ready!” A female voice chirps.

“Coming,” he whispers behind his breath, closing the drawer with a thud. 

Chanyeol is an only child. His parents think this is the main reason that arouse his aloof and rather undisturbed demeanor, opting to stay in the quiet, for it somehow brings him comfort and better access to his scattered thoughts. Thoughts that happen to gravitate towards literature, fate, and stars, truthfully.

He feels a tinge of remorse every time he looks at his parents, wonders if he could’ve maybe been a better son for them, he hopes it’s not too late to change the picture they have engraved of him. He scoffs. He would dislike himself, too. He shakes the array of thoughts away, slumping down on the wooden chair of their dining table. His father is currently sat two seats away from him, scanning what could only be the monthly receipt, or so he figures from his hunched shoulders and furrowed brow. His mother sends a worried glance at the huddled figure as she places the plate of homemade pancakes in front of him, quickly morphing into a smile when he makes eye contact with her warm orbs. Chanyeol offers a weak attempt of an elated expression, resulting in a mere twitch of the curls of his mouth. 

Chanyeol saunters to the door, stopping in his tracks when he hears his name being called and a dainty hand pressed against his back.

“Are you not wearing your coat?”

“Uh- I…I left it at my friend’s house.” 

“Are you going to meet your friend today? It’s pretty brisk outside.” 

He nods. His mother stares at him, and Chanyeol feels sweat break down his forehead, for a moment he thought she had seen right through his lie, but to his relief, she fixes a stray lock of hair from his face, pecking his forehead. “Take care.” 

“Good luck in school!” His father waves at him, and Chanyeol feels a sinking on his stomach. 

The lean boy stays silent, though a genuine glimmer paints his face. 

 

As he arrives to the school’s venue, he covers his head with the hood of his sweatshirt, gliding his way through the horde of people so he can get just on a decent time to his first class. He’s a literature major, hence his way with words—no pun intended—and his affinity towards being alone. Whenever he has the time, he writes letters. He exposes his utter soul into the pristine paper, inking the words with the unshed tears and welled up emotions. Poems are his favorite. He likes to think that in another time—this life, perhaps—he would be able to recite these cluster of words into his beloved’s ear, sing him to sleep and create alluring melodies that made up for his lack of wording when it came to Baekhyun. The fair skinned, beautiful boy—Chanyeol is certain, no matter how many centuries transcend—will still take his breath away with every meeting. 

 

_Your lovely scent seeps me into a state of reverie, which allows me to display your intoxicating features into an endless film._

 

Chanyeol is not antisocial, per se, yet his mind is constantly absorbed in thinking, often than not forgetting about his surroundings. He doesn’t really fit in to the present social circles, anyway. You could say he lives in the past. As he tends to bask in the beauty of the little things, he doesn’t really get along well with technology. He prefers wasting a whole day locked in reading a complete collection of whatever topic in the school’s library over obtaining the answers in a mere second thanks to the facilities that grant the internet. Just like right now, he’s in the middle of his literature research, the sheer sound of the turning pages lulling him gradually. 

“Yo.”

He jumps back at the rowdy edge of the voice disrupting his tranquil state of mind. 

“Easy there. I’m pretty sure I don’t bite.” 

Chanyeol presses his lips together, taking serious effort in ignoring the other’s presence in his special place. 

“Hey,” the shrill noise of the scraping chair is enough to test his patience. “I’m Kyungsoo.”

Chanyeol tunes out, imagining Baekhyun sitting next to him instead of the boy with large eyes. 

“Mind to help a friend out and tell him where the law aisle is at?” 

“Aisle K, just behind you,” he offers in a clipped tone. 

“Oh!” Kyungsoo snickers, looking at the stack of books in distaste. “I’m a law major.”

_No shit._

“You’re not supposed to raise your voice in here.”

“What are you reading?” the doe eyed male breaks his imaginary bubble of personal space and barges into it, skimming through the different titles and the heap of books placed systematically on the mahogany table. 

Chanyeol nestles the book he’s currently skimming close to his chest. “It’s for my class research. I got assigned Greek mythology.” 

“That sounds interesting…I’m guessing you’re a Literature major?”

He nods. 

Kyungsoo claps in victory. “That’s right. My instincts never disappoint.” 

The male’s height—he notices—is rather lacking, and his fashion choices can be questioned, considering the work field he’s going to embark in the future. But hey, who is he to judge other people’s choices. It’s not like being able to read into his past lives is going to grant him anything at all. Nothing matters so long as the person he treasures the most is oblivious to his existence. 

“…As swell as this talk has been, It’s my time to run now.”

Chanyeol rolls his eyes in response.

“Aw, don’t miss me too much, yeah?” the male chuckles, grabbing the book he guesses the other was originally looking for. “I gotta pick up this stray pup from his daily moping session and just as every pet, they require constant attention and love, you know?” 

Chanyeol creases his brow, wondering just how can someone be so bright at this ungodly time of the day. “I don’t.”

His words fall on deaf ears, as the other elaborates with a glint of amusement. “He looks like a puppy, my friend. Just wait till you see him, he’s the most adorable. Small and bubbly. Perfect combination, if you ask me.” 

“…Sehun, on the other hand, is the epitome of a reincarnated noodle. Never knew pasta could look this handsome. Downfall: he’s a sarcastic asshole.” 

Chanyeol watches silently the incessant drumming of his fingers, feigning interest as he looks up only to zone out on the male’s rather thick eyebrows. _Silence, Fucking finally._

The smaller man’s face suddenly lights up like a Christmas tree without notice. This isn’t good. “You know what, I’ll let you meet them yourself.” 

Chanyeol fidgets in his seat, pondering about what good could bring this person into his life and the potential benefits of getting attached to a group of people. Who knows? Perhaps wandering outside his bubble of personal thoughts will somehow gravitate him towards his fate. Images of the blond boy sleeping peacefully on the meadow, the moon highlighting his angelic features— looking incredibly soft when he sleeps, creating an imaginary halo above his light golden locks. 

“Alright…” he mutters behind his breath. 

He doesn’t realize he’s suddenly standing up, before being forcefully dragged away by another pair of strong hands.  
What could possibly go wrong with a tad change in his life? Truthfully, he seeks any type of comfort just like every other living thing on this universe. 

The shorter male brings him to the green area of the campus. His vision is filled of towering trees, and it can’t help but remind him of the forest where he encountered him that other time. His eyes dart around, falling on the diverse groups of people scattered on the freshly cut grass.

“Don’t just stand there, come on!” 

Not used to being ordered around, he crosses his arms in defense. He follows the other male until halting on his steps when he stalls just in front of one of the tables, where a stranger’s face can be found plunged down on the hard plastic cover. Kyungsoo pokes the brunet’s ribs, receiving a muffled groan as a response. He sighs and whacks the other’s head. 

“Ow, what the fuck?” the male hisses, scowling when the shorter of the two ruffles his hair.

“Time to wake up, prince charming.” Kyungsoo turns around to face him, clearing his throat. 

“Chanyeol, this is Sehun,” he points at the brunet shoving his hands down his jacket with a pensive look on his face. “He’s an architecture major. I’m sure you guys will get along just great.” 

Sehun is quite the guy, Chanyeol notes, as said male finally ceases digging his pockets, prying a small bag filled with gummy bears. The fond look the boy gives the plastic package throws Chanyeol off guard. He must be that hungry. 

Chanyeol looks back at the short male frozen in place, nodding half-heartedly. 

“How nice of you to grace me with your presence,” Sehun says, popping a red candy gum. 

Kyungsoo snatches a handful of gummy bears, shoving them on his mouth all at once. 

“Suit yourself,” he rolls his eyes. 

“We’re going to visit Baek after school.” 

At this, Sehun perks up. 

“I heard from his sister that he’s sick, the least we can do is show up unexpected and give him some company.” 

The boy gives him an expectant look. “What do you say?” 

“I’m in,” Sehun says, darting his eyes to the hunched figure. “What about you?”

Chanyeol goes slack-jawed. Are they seriously asking him to join them on a visit to their sick friend? He didn’t think people were able to trust him at first glance until now; he should thank his aloof demeanor and lack of facial gestures for neglecting him of getting into small talk in first place. It’s really nice of them to invite him when they just met minutes ago. Truth to be told, he’s curious as to what kind of person their friend is to be cherished greatly by a pair of oblivious yet genuine boys. 

On their way to meet their friend, the trio take a detour to a commercial center nearby campus, grabbing a dozen of glazed and strawberry iced donuts. They bought a white cat plush toy—Chanyeol couldn’t help but snort at the thought of the boy looking just like it. He trudges behind the pair, following closely their steps with hunched shoulders. It’s a five-minute walk from the market, and another ten-minute walk to the woods. He fumbles with the hem of his black shirt, wrinkling the polyester melting in his fingertips. They come to a halt on the jagged sidewalk. Their field of vision is invaded with a chromatic hue, causing the bushes caging every edge and corner of the exterior glow with their vivid ornaments. The leafy image causes him to fall on a reverie. The house is actually a flower shop, Chanyeol later notices as the bell connected to the hinge of the alabaster door jingles, inducing him to come back to his senses. Flowers, systematically placed according to color and type watch his every movement from cream colored vases. Chanyeol doesn’t remember flower shops being this pure, or so it gives that feeling from the white walls confining the small yet snug space. On the center, a light wooden counter is found placed, where a female in her twenties is currently leaning her head on her manicured hand, idly staring off into space. From the far left corner, a dainty trail of polished stairs travels to a second floor, where he guesses the owner of the shop lives. 

The brunette lifts her head up at the trudging steps of the trio, her eyes fall on the white box followed by the toy in his hands. She lifts her brow, looking him up from head to toe. 

“Baekhyun!” she hollers. 

“Is he okay?” Sehun speaks up first, approaching the counter with a confident stride. 

“Why don’t you find out yourself,” the female deadpans, tucking her short locks behind her ears. 

“Feisty as always. Just like your brother,” he scoffs mockingly to which the female slams her hands down on the cold marble.

“Shut up before I cut you!” 

“Try me.” 

“Your sarcasm kills me every time.” Kyungsoo breaks into the one sided argument, clutching his stomach. “He’s just playing with you, Joohyun.” 

“He’s upstairs.” she sighs, rubbing her temples as she trudges out of the door. 

“Don’t worry about her, she’s always either too confident or too cranky.” 

Chanyeol shrugs. Everyone has their bad days, thus he had just the luck of meeting her on what looked like her worst. Not that he really cares, truthfully.

They paddle their way to the second floor, wooden steps creaking in a not so pleasant manner with every plod they take. 

“Baek,” Kyungsoo knocks on the ivory door. “Are you there?” 

“We know you’re in— “ 

“Boo!” A boy in a blue oversized sweater and sweatpants slings the door open, along with soft features, crinkling button nose, rosy cheeks, flimsy frame, pouty lips. Chanyeol is getting carried away with an array of prior buried emotions. Finally, he gazes at those umber eyes that haven’t met his yet. 

“Come in! I’m not sorry for the mess,” Baekhyun blows a kiss at the pair. 

“Are you seriously okay?!” Kyungsoo steps into the blond’s personal bubble—what else is new—in order to cradle his face in his hands, making the other widen his eyes. 

“I-I yes, I got a minor cold. Sister’s overprotective. Long story,” the male crinkles his nose and Chanyeol tightens his hands into fists. 

The pair go inside the living room, not before Sehun gathers the smaller boy’s frame in his arms and pecks his head. The sight that they leave him is of a clearer and much closer view of Baekhyun. This time, their eyes meet. 

He knows he wins nothing from knowledge. It only brings him gruesome pain, obliviousness. He could recite one of the myriad of poems resting idly on the farthest corners of his mind, but the thing is: he knows. It makes him bite back his tongue and pretend that the person standing in front of him in all of his human glory is not related to him. Chanyeol is used to it, so the least he can do is pretend, and let the person he loves find happiness. A state of bliss without his presence. Let his body imprint itself with the bittersweet remarks that no matter how hard he strives—it comes back to him. He wants to make him remember, yet his selflessness always wins. It stings, watching his orbs flicker with a sense of faint recognition before they quickly shift to a neutral gaze. The boy is smiling, though the sparkle never reaches his eyes—not when it comes to him. One could call it unrequited love, for a lack of better wording. 

Hope is what keeps him going. Like a dim source of light that prevents a flower from withering. 

“Um… Hi.” Oh, how he dearly missed that sound. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come,” Chanyeol turns his back to him, perhaps it’s better to run now than regret it later with attachment to someone that would never look at him in the same light. 

He’s about to take the first step downstairs, when the soft melody speaks up once again, “Wait.” 

He jerks his head to look up at him. 

“You can stay.” 

Chanyeol definitely wasn’t expecting anything from those simple three words, that somehow were about to turn his life upside down in a not so distant future.

*: ･ﾟ✧*: ･ﾟ✧

The ivory walls caging him cause him to feel nude, as if everyone could see right through his soul and his most vulnerable spots. He swallows the lump in his throat.

The group is scattered on the wooden floor, eating away the last remnants of the saccharine looking pastry. Chanyeol doesn’t really have a mind at the moment to find a shred of appetite in his system. Sehun and Kyungsoo are swept with relief by knowing that their friend is in a good condition. Eventually, they offer to take him out, as it didn’t hurt to make a quick visit to the coffee shop two blocks down. 

Chanyeol tries to pay no mind to the way his heart skips a beat the moment the blond grasps his left arm in a blaze of feebleness. It doesn’t really help at all, feeling sweat trickle down his forehead in a poor attempt to calm his heart doing somersaults at the pleasure of the fluttering touch of his hand against his clothed skin. 

“Hey,” Chanyeol carefully nuzzles the boy’s cheek, his hand melting at the contact. It’s too soft. “We’re here.”

Halfway through the stroll, Baekhyun had gradually leaned his head on his shoulder, unconsciously messing with his rapid breathing and a whirlwind on his stomach. He still makes those yelping sounds when he’s falling asleep, as if he couldn’t possibly get even more adorable in the taller’s eyes. 

The blond’s eyes open faintly, blinking rapidly as a mechanism to fight drowsiness. He looks utterly beautiful like this, umber eyes staring off into space, golden locks thrashing in sync with the blowing wind. 

Baekhyun sniffs the cloth of his jacket, crinkling his nose before widening his orbs. 

“Sorry,” he clears his throat, darting his eyes everywhere except at his now distancing figure. It’s painfully awkward—not like he wasn’t expecting any better. 

“It’s fine…”. _I didn’t really mind the weight of your body against mine._

“My head was very heavy, wasn’t it?” Baekhyun buries his face in his hands, hiding the increasing blush emerging from his cheeks. 

Chanyeol snorts. He’s blind to the effulgence of his own umbra, failing to discern the spell he cast on him forevermore. 

“Not at all.”

 

 

 

 

_the stars remind me of you_   
_their glimmer reminds me of your smile,_   
_alabaster hue of your porcelain skin._   
_you shine so brightly yet you aren’t aware_   
_of how breathtaking you are._

 

 

 

 

After a week or so of striving to avoid being left alone in the male’s presence, Baekhyun finally gives up—it’s not as embarrassing as he had thought to begin with, just casually falling asleep on the shoulder of a stranger. An almost stranger. With really comfortable shoulders, and a piercing gaze that made the hair on his nape stand and his knees to wobble helplessly. 

He’d be a fool to not admit that he finds the jet black haired male attractive, his presence itself evokes an afflictive churn on his stomach. It doesn’t help that he happens to resemble the man he encountered in the woods. That’s exactly the source of his current troubled state of mind, the foregoing meeting bringing back an indescribable hue that blurred his senses. Baekhyun hasn’t seen him in the lapse of two weeks, fourteen days, 366 hours. It’s akin to drowning his whole body down an endless mass of water, unable to come back to earth in order to take his first inhale of life. The thought of it is utterly absurd, yet so horrifyingly true. He blames it on his background, whatnot, his mother was gone as rapid as the searing of the incessant fire smoldering with its stride the utmost pieces. 

A rustling sound faintly distracts him from his stray of thoughts, effectively darting his wide orbs to the now crouching figure slumping down beside him smoothly. Nectar drips down his sun kissed skin, lighting his face in an amber tinge. The whisk moving the tree’s leaves resembles an earnest caress, not quite yet drunk on the blinding image standing still and stoic, unaware of the unstoppable rail of craving trailing down his spine and inducing a turmoil on his entrails. 

“Am I bothering you?” 

“Huh?”

“Never mind.”

Baekhyun picks up on the male’s intentions and he immediately shakes his head. 

“About that,” Baekhyun coughs in a poor attempt of stifling his nervous chuckle. “I kind of zoned out.”

Seems like the roles have been reversed, as Baekhyun can feel eyes burning holes on his side profile. He can practically feel the sweat prickling down his face, the colossal pimple he so desperately wanted to pop this morning, the not so flattering bags under his eyes—needless to say, it wouldn’t necessarily hurt to disappear right in that moment. 

The turmoil momentarily ceases, evoking a sigh of relief from the blond. Are they destined to share awkward silences and stolen glances for the rest of eternity? Or are they going to become closer in the blink of an eye that not even his friends could succeed to butt in their shenanigans? Baekhyun hopes it’s the latter. 

 

“I’ve always wondered… Why is it that we always find it so easy to find our own flaws, but it’s never quite complicated to admire the beauty of everything else?”

“Hm. I guess it depends.” Baekhyun looks deep in thought at the other male’s quirky ear, the pointy edge to it that somehow gives the taller boy an elfish look. “Sometimes, it’s easier to fall for someone else’s flaws than love our own.” 

Chanyeol nods, a somber tint spreading over his face. He internally curses, just when the other was finally opening up to him. 

“Can I…ask you something?” 

Chanyeol shrugs, looking up at the prior clear blue sky now an ashen hue, “Shoot.” 

“Have you personally experienced that feeling? Of hating your guts and despising the image greeting you in the mirror every morning, but finding yourself with the inexplicable feeling of thrive with every inch and fragment of someone else?” 

“You talk about it like you’ve experienced it yourself,” Chanyeol muses. 

_I might have, and I still do._

Baekhyun meets Chanyeol’s eyes and finds traces of molten nostalgia in them, a flicker of a stronger emotion glimmers momentarily before the taller builds a wall so high that all he can do is stare hopelessly at the male regaining his former stoic expression. 

“I think that’s enough talk about feelings,” Baekhyun stretches his numb limbs nonchalantly. “The atmosphere has turned quite gloomy now.” 

“You’re right,” If Baekhyun is seeing correctly, he would’ve swore he saw the corner of Chanyeol’s mouth curling up ever so slightly. “Seems like even the sky has immersed in our affliction.” 

“Gosh, you’re so poetic,” Baekhyun dramatically lets his hand fall on his forehead with a sigh. 

“So I’ve been told,” Chanyeol chuckles. 

Turns out that the source of Chanyeol’s use of strong wording and the casual reverie the male tends to fall into essentially come from the fact that he’s a Literature major. Chanyeol tells him poems are his usual and effective way to let his feelings out, he even invites the latter to try it out sometime. He’s touched by the genuine concern of the other, though he’s not really good at writing his thoughts down, he would rather speak them out. Baekhyun also learns that he’s incredibly fond of astronomy, which sends a bittersweet jolt across his body. He strives to neglect the painful throbbing pulsating from his ankle—more specifically—his star cluster birthmark. 

Specks begin to kiss his clothed skin, raindrops falling deftly around the darkened venue. 

“Let’s go,” Chanyeol holds Baekhyun hand and guides him to the nearest entrance, that is until he realizes the smaller boy is left stranded on the gradually dampened grass. His expression turns clueless at the frozen state of the blond. He’s about to knock some sense into him when Baekhyun lets out the sound of birds chirping out of his mouth. His laugh is certainly enchanting; it pulls him in a trance that he can’t ever get out of. 

His airy steps hypnotize his senses, the elegant swaying of his hips and the delicate movements of his hands that seem to be inviting him to come forward. If only. 

Baekhyun starts to spin below the sprinkling tears falling from the sky. He never stops grinning, his now wet hair sticking to his forehead and Chanyeol thinks, he’s so beautiful like this. His eyes meet his sparkling orbs, and he brings a dainty hand towards him. Chanyeol doesn’t hesitate in taking it into the warmth of his bigger palm. 

It’s sloppy to say the least, he steps on his feet for the umpteenth time—even so, Baekhyun helps him by guiding his movements and shortly after, they start spinning together. Chanyeol is so caught up in the moment, his hands place themselves naturally on the curve of his waist, pulling him closer. 

Chanyeol is hit by an array of immersing thoughts. Is this the right thing to do? Wouldn’t he get hurt afterwards, with the aftertaste of rejection and the never-ending storm disturbing his state of mind when he’s around. He needs to get his priorities straight. For now, he’ll enjoy whatever bond they’re currently developing without spilling accidentally the caged feelings threatening his being with each passing day. 

“We should probably get going,” he tugs at the smaller boy’s frail arm, stopping in the process when he realizes Baekhyun is looking at him with wide eyes. 

“Look at your hair!” 

Chanyeol flips the long raven locks sticking to his face. “It’s a mess. Riveting.” 

“You look like a kicked puppy!” He points at him before falling on the ground, evolving laughter that should probably irk him but instead bring out the faintest fond sparkle in his eyes. 

“Does that make me your puppy?” 

What in the world was he thinking when he decided that saying that was totally acceptable, considering the fact that he’s forgetting they just met days ago?  
Then again, it’s not like their relationship is the epitome of conventional either. 

Glimmering orbs glint with a dab of mischief, directing at him the warmest eye smile tugging at his heartstrings and causing his stomach to drop—so long as he’s able to appreciate the beautiful sight that’s in front of him, Chanyeol doesn’t mind staying miserable for the rest of his life. 

“Yes, you are.” 

_Mine._

*: ･ﾟ✧*: ･ﾟ✧

“Why don’t you dye your hair pink? I think it would suit you best,” Chanyeol adds casually to their conversation, breaking Baekhyun off from his stupor. The pair decided to visit a small coffee shop two blocks away from Baekhyun’s house. The same coffee shop where the small youth had almost fallen asleep on his shoulder, waking the formerly idle butterflies on his stomach. They’re sitting facing each other, and he doesn’t miss the lingering look Baekhyun gives him occasionally. He mentally fist-pumps the air in victory; Chanyeol admits wearing a dress shirt was indeed a good idea after all.

“Hmm. I’d never thought of trying that color before.”

“That’s strange,” Chanyeol says, clicking his tongue.

“How so?”

“People should look like their personalities. Take for example, myself. My hair is as black as my soul.”

Baekhyun snorts, muffling his laugh behind the flimsy sleeve of his white sweater. 

“What makes you think that pink is a color that suits me?” 

Chanyeol shrugs, “Must be your aura.”

“Oh, really now.” The blond stares at him for what seems like an eternity, loosening the one sided tension when he looks sideways, rolling his eyes. “Are you some kind of medium?” 

Chanyeol ponders whether it’s a good idea to do something about the bread crumble lying still on the corner of Baekhyun’s mouth. Because it’s downright driving him bonkers. He may be mysterious but much to his dismay, that didn’t make him smooth. 

He leans closer, just enough to catch the spark in Baekhyun’s eyes, the mole decorating the upper corner of his pouty lips. The cream satin napkin jolts in the grip of his clammy palm. He keeps a locked stare on him, enticed by the fanning of his lashes. 

“I’ll take that as a yes—hmm?” 

Chanyeol dabs the porcelain skin with the cloth, too lost striving to get inside the other’s universe to notice the crumb had already fallen off. 

“I’m trying to figure out what’s going on inside your head.” _Beautiful_ , at that. But that’s enough sappiness for him and he really doesn’t need to give his real feelings away that easily. 

“And how’s that going?” 

“You’re a paradox.” 

The sunrays filter through the open curtain, creating a golden hue on Baekhyun’s skin, making his eyes appear a shade lighter. He throws his head back, totally thrown off guard by Chanyeol’s blunt statement, masking it off with a nervous fit of laughter. 

“You’re incredible.” 

“I hope that means a good thing.” 

Baekhyun ruffles the male’s raven locks, and he scowls lightly before his face morphs into a grin. 

“Of course it is, you fool.” 

After they take separate routes, Baekhyun trudges down the rugged road, moving his limbs in sync with the whisper of the wind and taking his steps to the rhythm of the birds’ melody. Occasionally spinning around, Baekhyun sees the world in a different perspective, a blur of chromatic disarray welcomes his vision and throws him off balance, plopping down on the hard ground. 

He needs to get a proper grip of himself. He grabs his phone from his back pocket and texts the person who has made his days brighter with his selfless, genuine actions, transparent words that make his heart go into cardiac arrest, a feeling he’s never had in his 20 years of existence, surprising himself at how close they’ve gotten in the lapse of weeks. 

_Hi (・∀・)_

From: Chanyeol  
_What’s up?_

_I’ve changed my mind. Are you free?_

From: Chanyeol  
_Yes._

_Okay. Good ^o^_

From: Chanyeol  
_I’ll pick you up._

_Oh, you don’t have to._

From: Chanyeol  
_I do. Wait for me. I’ll be at your place at 6._

_okay (´･ω･`)_

_Thank you, really._

 

Baekhyun is so engrossed in the mystery that is Park Chanyeol, the chat window with the other male still opened, he can’t help but grow fond with his mannerisms and the way his words are brief yet are still capable of putting a smile on his face. His stomach does a somersault and he decides, it’s enough thinking about feelings for today. He doesn’t notice the figure standing on the frame of his agape door, idly watching his frame quivering from his recent frenzy. He lies down on his back, painting vivid galaxies on the white ceiling with the grazing of the fathomless corners of his mind. 

“What’s gotten you so worked up?” 

Baekhyun jumps, blanching at the stern look Joohyun throws his way.

“Nothing.” He fumbles with his pockets, hiding his phone behind his back. 

“Do you think I’m that dense?” Joohyun scoffs. “I just heard you giggling. Byun Baekhyun, is this what I think it is?”

The blond male tilts his head. “…What?”

“Seriously, you act like such a high-schooler. It’s not even funny.”

“You act like a granny struggling through her menopause, but you don’t see me complaining,” he blurts out, wincing lightly after realizing the venom of his words. 

“Anyway, I need to get ready,” Baekhyun sighs, internally panicking when he darts his orbs to the wall watch. “My friend is coming to pick me up in less than 15 minutes.”

Joohyun frowns, recalling the long haired male wearing all black from the time Baekhyun called in sick. “Is this friend the weird guy who came to visit you with Sehun and Kyungsoo?” 

Baekhyun’s stomach churns in a mixture of annoyance and disappointment. She’s so wrong in judging his friend without any given reason. Looks shouldn’t matter, at least Baekhyun has the pleasure to know what Chanyeol is really like. To him, he’s beautiful inside-out. A unique creature that stumbled on Baekhyun’s life impromptu and unconsciously made his days just a tad brighter. “His name is Chanyeol, and he’s not weird. He’s pretty great, actually.” 

“Is he the reason why you’re so jumpy these days?”

Baekhyun blows air out of his cheeks, “Why do you care!”

Joohyun stares at him with utter sadness pouring from her eyes, “I just—I care about you, okay?”

“Is that it? Then, show me!” he cries. 

“I don’t want you to get hurt.” Joohyun slides her thumb across his glossy skin, picking up a flowing tear he didn’t realize he’d shed. “I’m sorry. These past years have clouded the former me, and I know I’ll never be able to make it up for you. I have been the worst.”

Her orbs resemble crystals, so breathtaking yet so frail, he’s afraid she’ll break when he’s not looking. 

“I guess people are right when they say we end up hurting the people we love the most.”

“Joohyun…” Baekhyun whispers. 

“I miss mom; you know?” Joohyun lets her head down, short chestnut locks fanning across her rosy cheeks. “Every. Fucking. Day.” 

“I know… I miss her, too.” Baekhyun looks up into the once vivid galaxies now turned a silvered hue. “Still, that doesn’t count as a valid reason to release your anger on me.” 

Joohyun curves the corner of her lip dejectedly, wetting her chapped lips.

“I really am sorry. I know being sorry isn’t enough, so I’ll strive to become the older sister she hoped for me to be.” 

“It’s okay, Joo,” he carefully tucks a stray lock of hair behind her ear, smiling fondly at her swollen eyes. “I’m not the perfect brother, either.” 

Baekhyun cradles her head, letting it fall on his shoulder, cooing softly and murmuring an array of ‘it’s okay’ and ‘I love you’ on her ear, causing the girl to choke on her tears and crash her body into his. An elongating warmth spread through them, and in that moment, he swore they became one.

 

 

 

“You’re early,” Baekhyun breathes, plucking a roving string from his ivory knit sweater.

“I like to arrive on time,” Chanyeol shrugs. He nods towards a satin black bicycle lying idly on the rugged concrete. “Ready?”

Baekhyun sputters, “Wait… you’re kidding, right?” 

“I’m afraid not.” 

Baekhyun side eyes the stoic looking male. _How can he look so calm?_ “How am I supposed to fit in there?!”

“Just… hold on tightly... to me?” 

If Baekhyun were on his right mind at the moment, he would’ve thought that Chanyeol, despite his cold as winter demeanor, has a cute side to him. 

“I’ll never grow tired of saying this,” Baekhyun mutters, “You’re incredible, Park Chanyeol.” 

 

 

After a whole five minutes that felt like eternity, Baekhyun was finally able to accommodate his lithe frame behind Chanyeol’s, he’s uncertain of where his hands are supposed to lay, so they grip the leather saddle until the speed makes him lose his balance, planting his face on the other male’s back—clad in a denim jacket that give his shoulders a broader edge—appearing ample from his perspective. Not comfortable at all, certainly. His body betrays him and he lets this moment last for just a while longer, inhaling the scent of fresh lavender and the musk of autumn that is so Chanyeol. He shifts his head to the side, admiring the distant view of his home and the blinding lights of the night lulling him with the mellow comfort wafting from the caress of the wind, cluttering his flying locks moving in sync with the melancholy of the distant woods. He lets his hands fall on Chanyeol’s waist, not letting go of his newfound treasure for the rest of the ride. 

“Are you okay?” Chanyeol asks him when they arrive to a secluded corner that reflects an eerie light, causing the hair on his nape to stand. He shrugs off his frenzied state of mind by looking up at the expectant male. 

“Now I get why you don’t have a driving license,” Baekhyun replies, fixing his locks by combing his fingers through the blond silk. 

“I actually don’t own one because I’m not really into driving.” Chanyeol’s eyes flicker upwards, to the myriad of stars watching them from afar. “I’m more of the walking type.” 

“Care to explain why we’re ambling through these streets? If your reason for bringing me here was to scare me, then congratulations, because this place is certainly giving me the creeps.” 

Baekhyun hugs his trembling frame when a rustling sound is heard from the jet black edge of the end of the alley. 

Chanyeol trudges closer to the shorter male, letting his hand fall on his side when the other visibly flinches by his proximity. “No… I was just about to tell you, one of my tires ran out of air.” 

The blond male face palms, uttering a soft “really, now?” before he playfully crashes his body against the warmness that radiates from the male’s frame, enveloping him in a reverie. 

“Don’t fool me like that, ever again.” 

A rose tinge spreads across Chanyeol’s cheeks, as he scratches his nape sheepishly. 

“I promise.” 

 

 

The pair trudge down the curbed sidewalk, reveling in the lulling sounds of the night. They enter a near convenience store, and Chanyeol snags a handful of metallic plastic boxes, he steps closer, tiptoeing to reach his level of vision and for once understanding the male’s motive. On their way out, they share a secretive smile that exudes a pumping of utter bliss throughout his body. 

This time, Baekhyun lets his head fall on the security that provides his back, clinging firmly to him, savoring the aftertaste of rapture he’d foreseen as out of reach. 

 

Baekhyun hadn’t mused that this moment would ever happen, finding himself on the edge of his seat, delicate hands gripping his knees tightly, with such a force that brought out a crimson hue on his knuckles. 

“Are you sure this… is alright?” Baekhyun croaks out. 

“Totally, a change can never go wrong.”

Chanyeol hums an unrecognized melody to his ears, dripping with an archaic edge, exactly the type of song that never grows old no matter how many centuries transcend. The whistling ceases as he adjusts the level of the raven leather chair. 

“Have you ever done this before?”

Chanyeol shakes his head, turning around the armchair the blond was gracelessly sitting on, “Just trust me.” 

“Fine,” Baekhyun makes eye contact with him through the mirror’s reflection, conceding at last. “Under one condition.” 

“Which is?” Chanyeol crosses his arms expectantly.

“I get to cut your hair,” Baekhyun replies, biting back the upcoming burst of laughter, inducing to a rather amusing contortion on his features.

Chanyeol gulps visibly, “Are you kidding? It took me centuries to grow my hair this long!” 

“No pain, no gain, love.” 

Chanyeol strives to ignore the alleged pet name the other male had the audacity of uttering so effortlessly, it felt almost natural. 

“Aw, come on,” Baekhyun stretches his limbs, bringing them closer to his chin as he tilts his head, small lips forming a brazen pout. “You will regret this later on. A change can never go wrong.”

Chanyeol creases his brow, boring holes on the blond’s skin that evoke a pleasant shudder through his body. “Are you turning my own words against me?” 

“I’m just stating the facts,” Baekhyun quips, clasping his arms behind his nape. 

He can’t believe he’s thinking about the consequences of what this act could bring on further, let alone the fact that he’s being dragged into a black hole that he created himself on the verge of wanting to act as nonchalant and oblivious to his buried feelings as possible. He’s conceding and it’s all due to his charming ways, he hasn’t changed a bit. No matter how different his physique could be, his distinct features shone and brought Chanyeol closer to no avail. He’s whipped and he can’t believe he’s about to let Baekhyun cut his hair, his long locks that he took three years in preserving and growing diligently, are about to disappear like a print on sand washed away by the flowing of the ocean. 

“Just—go ahead,” Chanyeol breathes out a sigh, silently pleading that he is at least generous enough to leave his hair long enough to curl slightly around his sharp jaw. 

“This will be fun.” Baekhyun snickers, reveling in the blazing friction of the shredding of the blades held firmly in his hand. 

 

“Open your eyes.”

_I can’t._

Chanyeol shifts his eyes open, squinting at the saffron brightness blurring his vision until focusing on the wide eyed reflection staring back at him. He finds a shorter haired version of himself, his black locks barely reach his nape. It’s not exactly foreign, he remembers having this sort of haircut centuries prior, but it still feels strange after being so used to the comfort his elongated curls brought him. 

Baekhyun scrutinizes his new hairstyle, side swept bangs falling over his forehead. “You don’t look half bad.”

“Honestly, I look… younger,” Chanyeol mutters in awe. 

“Have you never had short hair before?” Baekhyun asks curiously. 

“I’ve had, but that was a long time ago,” Chanyeol replies casually, catching himself before he starts rambling about his past. “Which one do you personally prefer?”

Baekhyun feigns indifference by looking down at his hands, “I think you fit any hairstyle.” 

“Really? I’ll try rainbow hair next, then.”

Baekhyun scrunches his nose, “Anything except that. You’d look like a clown. And I despise clowns with a great force.” 

“Oh, is that it?” Chanyeol jumps from his seat in the blink of an eye, facing the blond and cornering him with every step he takes. “Are you scared of them?” 

“Don’t you dare, Chanyeol!” Baekhyun squeaks, running away to no avail as his short legs offer no advantage in comparison with the other’s never-ending limbs. His back crashes painfully against the ivory wall. “Step back, or I’m gonna— “ 

“Or what, Baekhyun?” The male delivers in a rich tone that causes his knees to wobble helplessly. Caught in the moment, he fails to realize the distance between them has dissolved gradually, to the point that Baekhyun can feel Chanyeol’s hot breath directly on his face, he can count the cluster of tiny freckles decorating his cheeks, the mole on his nose, the fanning of his long lashes and his eyes dart automatically like a magnet to follow the movement of his tongue wetting his lips. 

“I-I…” Baekhyun stutters, cheeks blushed in a soft pink. “I’m going to step on you!” 

Baekhyun stomps his foot clad in white oxfords that would probably deem an adorable image if it wasn’t for the fact that he just stepped on his feet—literally—before dashing out of the room. He jumps back in shock, gripping his abused shoe and mentally punching himself because truth to be told, he deserved it. _That wasn’t a smooth move at all, Park._

 

 

“Why are you taking so long?” Baekhyun opens his eyes, squinting adorably at the sudden brightness.

“I’m almost finished. Don’t move,” Chanyeol answers him, strings of nervous laughter falling from his mouth. 

Baekhyun suddenly gets up—startling the taller male in the process—and scans his unfinished work on the mirror. “Are you kidding me? This isn’t even right.”

“How am I supposed to know! It’s my first time doing this.” 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “Just…leave it to me.” 

Chanyeol slumps down on a nearby coral couch, exhausted by the turn of events. He mentally notes the abundance of femininity oozing from the room. He doesn’t realize his eyes start to drop, until he doses off, the image of the blond a distant blur merged with the alabaster light. 

He wakes up after what feels like an eternity, checking his gold collar watch (“Who the hell owns one of those?” he remembers the blond exclaiming at him one day.) The watch hands indicate him that it’s already half past 10. 

His eyes dart across the room and he’s surprised to find no trace of the other male. He stretches his limbs numbed by sleep, wincing at the incessant cracking of his bones. His calloused hands trace random patterns across the smooth surface of the love seat, wondering if this is Baekhyun’s sister room, or so he guesses from the decoration choice, from the body mirror to the fuchsia duvet covering the mattress located on the far right corner. He secretly wants to wander to the confines of Baekhyun’s room and whatnot, find more about him. He’s not capable of doing so, that would be a violation to the other’s privacy. And he’s certainly not a creep. So, he’s going to wait for just the right moment, when the blond feels secure enough to invite him to his room. He stays still, dreading that his older sister doesn’t arrive anytime soon, that would be much too awkward and he’s not ready to face such scenario. 

The door opens without a warning and Chanyeol’s heart jumps, only to sigh in relief when Baekhyun sneaks into the room, gliding gracefully until he stood so close their hands could touch. He notices Baekhyun’s hair, freshly blow-dried and so silky, the blond was gone, replaced by a rose tone that was definitely fit for him. 

“You look...” Chanyeol’s mouth opens and closes, resembling a fish. 

“Yes?” Baekhyun grins wide, and it certainly doesn’t help at all to stabilize his rapid heartbeat. 

“…Beautiful,” Chanyeol breathes.

He’s forcefully awaken from his reverie, flinching when the cotton haired boy whacks him on the arm. 

“Idiot!” Baekhyun whines, face tinged a pretty shade of ruby. “You’re always so straightforward.” 

The male scratches the back of his neck sheepishly, blowing out a whirl of air. 

“I just came to invite you to the living room,” Baekhyun mutters behind a gust of breath. “There’s a Ghibli movie marathon going on right now.” 

“Okay,” Chanyeol replies, awakened from his stupor with the mere contact of Baekhyun’s fragile hand contrasting against his roughness. The contact sends a thrilling shiver down his spine, electrocuting his senses. 

The pair lay on the white couch located on the heart of the living room, captivated by the flickering hues on the screen. By the time the credits of Spirited Away were rolling down, Baekhyun had sought comfort by placing his head on his lap. Unfortunately, so, he wasn’t a placid person, often shifting his position, and causing Chanyeol to question his own morals. 

It feels nice, despite the numb state of his limbs, to feel the weight of Baekhyun’s head against his lap. Chanyeol could definitely get used to it. He feels a soft pinch on his inner thigh, and his breath is once again taken away as he looks down at the rose haired boy grinning at him. 

“We should play something,” Baekhyun says suddenly, resting his tilted head on his hand. He pokes Chanyeol’s stomach with his other hand, causing the other male to jump in surprise. He sends him a dirty look to which Baekhyun replies with a thread of angelic laughter. 

“Like what?” Chanyeol asks, leaning his head back, ruffling his not so long hair in the process. 

“20 questions!” Baekhyun announces, and Chanyeol can see his imaginary tail wiggling excitedly. “We shoot questions one turn at a time so we can get to know each other better, yeah? I’ll go first.”

Chanyeol shrugs. The smaller boy should find it offensive, but honestly, he thinks it’s cute. 

“I’ll start with the basics. What’s your favorite color?”

“Black. Day or Night?”

“Night. What are you scared of?”

“Oblivion. Why do you like the night? I thought you were more of a day person.”

“You never quite finish meeting someone. Let’s just say that the night offers me comfort and I’ve been fascinated by stars since I was young.” Baekhyun zones out, and Chanyeol wonders what’s going on inside his beautiful mind to mar a frown on his face. “What’s your favorite season?” 

Chanyeol stares at him, in awe at the revelation of his fondness towards the night and stars. He feels the tears prickling painfully in his orbs and thinks to himself, this is not so bad after all. 

“Autumn. What’s your favorite memory?” 

“That’s funny. You smell just like it.”

Chanyeol widens his eyes. “Have you been smelling me?” 

Baekhyun laughs, shaking his head. “It’s a warm scent. Yours, I mean. It reminds me of cocoa, the forest, and… home.” 

“Home?” Chanyeol asks, wondering just what the coral haired boy meant by his prior words. “Don’t evade my question.” 

“Uh-oh, that’s two questions at a time.” 

“Then choose one.”

“My favorite memory… is probably when I helped my mother by rearranging the flower bouquets from the shop, Joohyun would then arrive from school, offering me a strawberry flavored milk carton, and we would just talk about our day and my mother loved to talk about flowers and the stories that lied behind each of them.” 

“… It’s simple, I know, but sometimes I feel like those were the happiest days of my life. Back when I didn’t know a lot of things and like I would say: ignorance makes happiness.” 

Baekhyun closes his eyes, carrying his soul to the bittersweet memories where everything was once easy. “What about you?” 

Chanyeol is caught off guard, staring off into the floor tiles while feeling his expectant orbs boring holes on his prickled skin. What was his favorite memory? He couldn’t talk about the lifetimes Baekhyun remembered him and they actually ended up together, or the joy he felt just by knowing he was closer than he’d first thought, the juncture he came to make out his face weaving in the crowd, standing out like a glimmering star on the night sky. He knows it’s wrong, he should have gotten used to his solitude by now, yet his soul shatters just at the thought of losing him. 

“Meeting you,” Chanyeol replies at last with a strained voice, surprising the both of them. “That’s probably the memory I cherish the most until now.” 

He clears his throat, feeling the weave of sweat and fear running through his spine. “I hope I’m not crossing any boundaries with this… Where is your mother? I don’t think I’ve seen her yet.” 

Baekhyun chokes on his unshed tears, overwhelmed by the male’s words as his lips quiver slightly at the sudden image of his mom engraving into his mind. “T-that’s because you won’t see her at all. She won’t come back.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“It was fleeting. I didn’t even get the chance to properly say goodbye; my mom was the brightest person I knew, that I’ll ever know. She never got mad, nor complained about the weather or petty stuff like that. She always greeted me with a smile, no matter how tired or sick she was. She was so selfless—to the point she didn’t want us to worry about her health issues. She kept it from us for almost a year. It happened one pluvious spring afternoon, I had come back from school and to my surprise, my ears couldn’t identify a sound in the house, I trudged further and after slamming the door behind me, I wanted to disappear. There she was, lying on the cold marble floor, unresponsive to my cries that begged her to wake up. It was too late; she had suffered a stroke from her grave high blood pressure. I’ll never forgive myself for not arriving earlier, because maybe then, I would have been able to save her.” 

Before he realizes, a pair of arms hold his lithe frame, sitting him up in his lap, and the image should have been laughable given in other occasion, Chanyeol rocking Baekhyun’s body back and forth like a baby, lulling the array of tears falling incessantly from his umber eyes—those vulnerable orbs that with just one look at them made his own glassy. He cradles the smaller boy’s face in his calloused hands, that clash with the other’s cherubic features. Gently, he swipes the tears away, lingering his touch on the soft skin of his cheeks. He’s selfish and he admits so, to be thinking of his own sentiments when the other boy is pouring his heart out. But he can’t help it, he’s irrevocably enamored by every inch of his face, figure, and mind. Time is a fabricated matter when it comes to Baekhyun. He forgets about everything and lets himself fall into the moment, holding him for what Chanyeol would like to describe as an eternity, just the two of them, and their souls intertwined without their knowledge. 

 

Baekhyun wakes up with the amber light filtering from the white blinds creating patterns on his face. His eyes sting, and he conceals the prior events by playing with the sunlight, creating figures in the shadows of the darkened room with the magic of his flexible fingers. They end up cramping afterwards, anyway. He feels his lower body shift and he squeals in surprise, widening his orbs when he realizes his rear is resting rather comfortably on Chanyeol’s back. Hell knows how they ended up in said position through the course of the night. He hops down and dusts off his clothes in a nervous habit he’s developed over the years. He crouches down so his face is leveled with the raven haired male’s. He watches his face, his lips scrunched up into a pout, a trail of saliva flowing down from the right corner, the mole in his nose and he frowns at his slightly open eyes. He seems to be sleeping still. _Weird_. He trails his hands gently against his eyelids, forcing them closed. Baekhyun hums in approval and wonders if he keeps staring at him like this, he would sense it and eventually wake up from his deep slumber. 

Curiosity gets the best of him, and he leans closer, just enough to count the myriad of lashes fanning slightly. He blows a small gust of air into his face and the male’s eyes flutter open automatically. 

“Didn’t think you would trick me further,” Baekhyun laughs, poking his cold cheek. 

“I just wanted to keep sleeping,” Chanyeol muffles his yawn with his bare arm. 

“You’re cuter when you’re sleeping.” 

“Did I ask?” Chanyeol throws a pillow at the smaller boy, which he dodges from effectively. 

“It’s the truth, your face is relaxed and your grumpiness is gone,” Baekhyun elaborates. Unbeknownst to Chanyeol, he likes both sides of him equally; truth to be told, Baekhyun just likes to push his buttons and laugh at his priceless reactions. It must have stuck from Kyungsoo and his greasy banter. 

“Whatever,” Chanyeol rolls his eyes, turning to look at Baekhyun who is too busy smiling at his own thoughts to notice his stare. “Where’s your sister?”

“Why?” Baekhyun’s expression turns serious and he immediately regrets having asked about her. “Oh my god. Do you like her?”

Chanyeol wishes a truck could run over him right in this moment. _You’re really clueless, aren’t you?_

“Yes, I’ve been dreading to tell you so,” Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun’s orbs glint with a sparkle of a newfound emotion, perhaps jealousy, if his eyes aren’t playing him tricks. “How can you be so naïve?” 

Baekhyun whacks him with the pillow he had first thrown at the boy, bottom lip jutting out, glossy and so utterly distracting. 

“It’s not like you’re an open book either,” Baekhyun reasons. 

Chanyeol guesses he’s right, his face doesn’t really show what’s going on inside his mind, though his obvious actions and straightforward words give him away. He stares at the digits of the room’s table watch, 8:00 a.m. blinking back at him, red and blotching. 

“I should be going,” Chanyeol gets up, and saunters through the hallway, feels Baekhyun following him behind with smaller steps. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Chanyeol gulps, looking at Baekhyun for the last time before he turns away. 

“Right, tomorrow.” Baekhyun follows the movement of the taller’s retreating back, the flexing of his muscles, and the lethargic air of his stride. “Take care,” he whispers, hoping the gust of the wind would send the message to him.

*: ･ﾟ✧*: ･ﾟ✧

It’s an idle night. He sits in the same spot, watching the dew falling from the moist plants. The moon shields behind the murky clouds. He holds on to the dispersed fragments of hope he’s lost with time, pleading that the man shows up one last time.  
He loosens his hold on it, carefully sitting up so as to not fall back on his knees. It’s exactly what he does after hearing the sound of humming from his right side. _Don’t act on impulse_ , he thinks to himself, gradually darting his orbs to the source of the sound. What he finds doesn’t surprise him any less. He’s so ready to scream, except his voice won’t come out, labored breaths being the only sounds coming out from his mouth.

The figure is clad in all black, face covered by the hood of their cotton pullover. They notice his stare and try to come closer, but Baekhyun is having none of it. His eyes tear away from the person, looking for any object he can defend himself with. He supposes the best he can do is run, or hit them in the genitals. The person touches his arm and it sends weird shocks through his veins. He steps back, forcefully yanking his arm away from them. He shrieks, teetering on his heels when he turns around, finding the body of water impossibly closer. The figure grabs his shoulders, pulling him closer and he doesn’t know what he’s done to deserve this—he’s about to be kidnapped at such a young age. The stranger hushes him, and his cries of help cease when the person speaks up for the first time. “Shhh. It’s me. It’s okay.” 

“C-Chanyeol?” 

He nods, and Baekhyun pulls him closer. “I’m sorry,” he utters shyly, resting his head on Chanyeol’s chest. He can feel his steady heart beating and strangely so, it offers him a sense of comfort. 

“Don’t be, I look creepier at night.” Chanyeol’s face is void of any expression, only proving his point further. 

“I was about to hit you!” Baekhyun later adds as an after thought, “down there.” 

Chanyeol shifts nervously, darting his uneasy orbs upwards to observe the night sky. “What brings you here?”

“I could ask the same to you,” Baekhyun replies, crossing his arms across his chest. 

“I always come here,” he refutes, too quick for his liking. 

They lock stares. Baekhyun holds his gaze on him, muttering in a thin voice, “So do I.” 

_It can’t be…_

Chanyeol breaks their mutual stare first. He plops down on the moss, hugging his knees to his chest. Baekhyun follows suit, falling on the moist canvas. He lays on his back, and Chanyeol mimics his position. 

“Sometimes,” Baekhyun keeps his eyes fixed on one glistening star, standing out proudly in the ebony sky. “I like to believe that after we die, we turn into stars.” 

Baekhyun’s face morphs into a beam, catching the faint glimmer of another lone star. “Can you imagine those stars being us.” He points at the sky, musing a comparison of the two stars to their relationship. One stands, disarming and ready to approach the other, but the other is intimidated by the unguardedness with which it sparkles. The latter doesn’t realize its breathtaking glimmer; thus the other star is willing to show its value with every meeting they encounter. 

He turns to Chanyeol, and his smile falters at the look painting his face. The male’s body is facing his direction now, and he’s directly staring at him, catching him off guard. Baekhyun shies away from the unwavering gaze, the bluntness of his emotions reflected on his dark orbs. Chanyeol seems to notice it, too, concealing his own surprise with a fabricated cough. 

 

Just like that, Baekhyun meets Chanyeol every Monday night at the woods. A day that he used to dread with the painful reminder that four years ago, his mother had been taken away from him, now has become one which he anticipates. Every night, he dreams about the stars, and the things that Chanyeol teaches him, from the galaxies, constellations, and the names given to stars according to the fervor with which they glisten. He smiles at the thought of seeing him again, just the two of them, in his favorite place. 

 

“When we both die; our stars will be located right next to each other.”

Chanyeol doesn’t say anything, and Baekhyun tries not to let his disappointment show on his face. 

“Why?” Chanyeol whispers softly, too faint but the cotton candy haired boy catches the three letter word.

“Just because. It feels like I’ve known you since forever.”

Chanyeol smiles this time. Baekhyun feels the incessant fluttering on his stomach rising once again. He looked the most beautiful when he smiled. 

“If you were a star, you’d be Sirius.” 

Baekhyun shakes his head, fazed at the compliment. Sirius was known to be the brightest star on the universe, after all. “I’m nothing special.”

_If only you were able to see yourself through my eyes._

“Did you know,” Chanyeol speaks up after a while, “Most stars spend their lives tied by gravity to a companion star.”

“So it’s almost like the equivalent of what is it called? Right! Soul mates.” 

Chanyeol stares at him, caught off guard by the male’s words. His eyes turn sad and Baekhyun hates it. He knows Chanyeol isn’t the type of person who shows his emotions to the full, on the contrary, he’s not quite expressive and he tends to hide what he really feels deep inside. He’s gathered this from the time he’s spent with him on the last five months since they first met each other. He’s always thought that time doesn’t define the value of a true friendship, it’s the quality of said time you cherish with them what matters. 

 

One Thursday on his way to his third period class, they lock stares on the hallway. Chanyeol seems reluctant, the look on his eyes causing his mouth to set on a frown. He saunters past his side, slipping in a folded paper on the ajar pocket of his backpack.

Later, when he’s settled on his lecture, Baekhyun unfolds the paper and his eyes scan a note scribbled in Chanyeol’s small yet tidy handwriting.

 

Meet me in the woods. Same time as always.  
I need to tell you something. -P.C.

 

 

 

That day, Baekhyun dreams of Chanyeol exclusively. His mind is filled with images of his face, details he hadn’t observed before coming into life. His stomach feels like it’s going to burst up in any moment from the array of newfound emotions he’d been so fearful to admit until now. Lying on his stomach, he muffles a scream on his pillow. He sits up, widening his orbs in alarm when he remembers…the note Chanyeol had given him today at school. He holds the now crumpled paper in his hands, reading it continuously until a thought comes up—he hadn’t specified the day they were supposed to meet. Of course it wasn’t on Monday, since it had been two days ago. He decides to text the other male, just so his mind can be at ease. 

_Hey_

_Is it today???_

_The thing, you know? at the forest, heh?_

_You didn’t specify in the note… (╥_╥)_

 

From Chanyeol:  
_About that…fuck_

 

His phone buzzes and Baekhyun panics. He sees Chanyeol’s name on the screen and he takes a deep breath before answering the incoming call. It was the first time ever they’ve talked on the phone so right now he feels like he has no limbs at all.

“Hello?” There, he managed to utter a word without his voice cracking. 

“You’re not there yet, are you?” Chanyeol answers frantically.

Baekhyun lets a smile slip onto his face, Chanyeol’s cute when he’s flustered. 

“If by ‘there’ you mean the forest, then no. The thing is, are you?”

Baekhyun hears a gush of breath coming from the other line. Okay, he’s too cute for his heart to handle. 

“I’m such a fool.” Chanyeol whines.

“Don’t say that.”

“You’ve said it yourself!”

“It was a joke, Chanyeol.” 

“Okay, whatever.” The other male clears his throat. “I want to show you something, can you come, like… right now?”

“What?”

“Just come outside.” 

“Chanyeol…” he hears the other end of the line go dead and he takes it as a cue to fix his disheveled appearance, too sleepy to mind the fact he’s currently clad in his cat print pajamas and slippers. It’s too late when he opens the door to a very bright looking Chanyeol—it was as if the latter had torn away the imaginary cloud floating above his head like a halo. He notices the way his doe eyes widen as he gives him a not so discreet onceover, before his face breaks off into a grin. He seriously needs to smile more often; it drives him crazy. 

“Were you here this whole time?!” Baekhyun bursts out after finally understanding the situation.

“Sorry?” Chanyeol giggles. He _giggles_! What has the taller in such a delighted mood, Baekhyun would like to know. 

“Follow me,” the male whispers, and Baekhyun traipses out of the door. He hugs his own frame, relishing in the sight overhead, stars speckling over their black cloak. 

“Slow down, will you?” Baekhyun mutters breathlessly as he follows behind him, boring holes on Chanyeol’s back, until he’s walking in sync with him. He doesn’t know in what moment their hands intertwined without his knowledge—he just knew it felt right. Their hands molded against each other like they were meant to be joint. Baekhyun feels the heat come to his cheeks and he shrugs the thought off his mind. 

They walk through the forest, trudging past the pond and Baekhyun wonders where they’re headed to, until they stop in a glade. It’s dark, so he can only make out the fragments of the mist floating in the air, and the outlines of the trees that tower both of them. He’s scared, but the feel of Chanyeol’s hand against his soothes him. 

Chanyeol kneels down, reaching blindly for a bag found behind one slab. A faint light suddenly envelopes them, and his vision is filled with the image of Chanyeol’s beautiful face illuminated by the blaze of the lighter in his hand. He seems to be looking for something else, Baekhyun notices, as he muffles a laugh behind his hand when said male steps on his feet and lands headlong into the moss. “I’m okay,” Chanyeol shrieks, getting up in an instant as if he hadn’t been on the ground less than seconds ago. He picks up the object that caused him to slip, and if Baekhyun is seeing correctly, he can guess the male is carrying a guitar. His eyes sparkle at that, and quickly sits on the slab beside the other male. He watches the way his gentle hands begin strumming the chords, gradually evoking a simple yet beautiful melody. His eyes feel heavier, and he fights the urge to close his eyes at the soothing tune recoiling through his ears and enshrining into his head. 

_This melody…_

The subtle ring reverberates through the glade, enveloping him into a trance. He knows that sound, but he can’t remember where he’d heard it from. It causes his insides to churn painfully and before he knew it, tears were bottling up in his eyes, ready to fall down like a steaming pot. His vision turns blurry, and he smiles bitterly. Why does it make him so sad? He’s supposed to feel happy, for Chanyeol is playing for him a beautiful tune. He thanks the darkness which deters the other male from noticing his swollen eyes and wetted cheeks. He gulps down the hiccups threatening to spill from his mouth. “W-what’s the name of the song?”

Chanyeol looks up, pulled up from his reverie. “It doesn’t have a name, at least not yet.” He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “I kind of composed it a while ago.”

Baekhyun stares at the male sitting beside him, orbs brimming with an entrancing inquisitiveness. “Is it a sad song?”

“You could say that. I didn’t think much of it—I just poured out what I was feeling in that moment.”

“But you’re not sad anymore, right?” 

Their eyes meet, and unbeknownst to them, a gravity pulls their souls closer together. 

“I have my moments…”

_As you look back in time_   
_You’ll see the shadow that has guided you_   
_I’ll be the sky at night, the stars shining overhead_   
_You’ll be the moon casting a spell on me_   
_The light which follows me_   
_We’ll seek each other_   
_So that our souls can intertwine;_   
_I’ll be your guidance, forevermore._

 

Baekhyun feels his heart swell in both awe and melancholy. Chanyeol’s voice is so soothing, deep and rough, but still sweet. He decides it’s his favorite sound, and he can’t get enough of it. The strumming of his guitar blended with his velvety voice causes his heart to burn like a wildfire. He can’t shrug off the feeling that the melody brings him, now accompanied with lyrics that tug at his heartstrings all the same. He comes to a realization in that moment, seated beside the other male lost in thought to notice his troubled mind. He wants to be that person. He wants to be Chanyeol’s moon, his light. He wants to be the reason his face mars into a smile, upon seeing him. But that’s highly unlikeable from happening. If Baekhyun is the moon, Chanyeol is the universe, out of reach and unfathomable. 

“It’s gotten very dark…” Baekhyun murmurs.

Chanyeol hums, shivering slightly from the cold air whisking around the glade. Baekhyun would give him his jacket, if only he had brought along one. He, too, is affected by the brisk night. It’s spring, but nights tend to get a tad colder, especially in the forest, as perceived from Baekhyun’s experience. 

“We should sleep here,” Chanyeol says, dusting off a large patch of moss Baekhyun supposes the male is sleeping on. “It’s too dark to walk home.” 

Baekhyun nods, but then remembers he can’t see him. “Okay.”

He lets his body fall down on the ground, tightly embracing his own frame, and moving his body into a fetal position. He shuts his eyes and lets the sounds of the night lull him to sleep, only to let out a soundless gasp when he feels a pair of strong arms circle his waist, pulling him closer. His heart skips a beat, and his body relaxes in instinct. The last thing he remembers is the scent of autumn swathing his frame with a sudden warmth. 

 

 

Baekhyun wakes up to find a pair of orbs staring back at him. He lets out a breathless whimper, gazing into his dark eyes. Chanyeol laughs, causing his cheeks to heat up further. They’re snuggling each other, and Chanyeol’s hand is still lying firm on his waist. 

“Slept well?” Chanyeol asks him. 

Baekhyun nods shyly. 

“I always love sleeping here. I know it sounds weird, but this place is truly my real home.”

“Ditto. Except for the fact that the forest is like a second home to me.” His lips curl into a faint smile at the thought of his sister—most likely sleeping right now, having fallen into a deep slumber after her worrying thoughts about his whereabouts ceased in order for sleep to gradually kick in. 

A sudden thought flashes across his mind, and he remembers. “I wonder—if you’re always hanging around here—have you stumbled across someone else perhaps?” Baekhyun asks with a nonchalant timber in his voice. 

“Not really. Of course, aside from the occasional workers passing by—or you know, just your local nymphs watering the moss.” He adds halfheartedly.

Baekhyun chuckles, playfully pushing Chanyeol to the side. 

_It was all in my imagination…_

In all seriousness, he knows it’s foolish to hold on to the thought of a person he never had the chance of meeting or even seeing properly. Still, he can’t forget the whirlwind on his insides the moment he saw him that cloudless winter morning. 

 

 

“What are you so dressed up for?” Chanyeol asks him one humid spring morning, having bumped into each other on his way back home. 

“Didn’t you know?” Baekhyun sighs then, remembering just who he’s asking this. “It’s Sehun’s birthday party today…” 

“So, are you going?” he asks nonchalantly. 

“I wasn’t invited.”

“Are you kidding me? He told us on the 3rd that he would organize something small for his birthday, which was exactly two days ago.” 

“Oh crap… how could I forget?”

Baekhyun ruffles Chanyeol’s dark locks. “Your head is always in the clouds, that’s why.” 

“I can’t help it,” the male utters with a tint of apology in his voice. But his face doesn’t look apologetic at all.

“Do you need a ride?”

“In what? Your hoary bicycle?”

“If you didn’t know, that model is a special edition— “

Baekhyun grabs Chanyeol by his ear suddenly, making the taller let out a groan of pain.

“Ow, ow, ow—” Baekhyun presses one finger to his lips, shutting off his brain momentarily for the boy’s pretty finger is so close, plastered firmly against his mouth. He complies with staring at his beautiful eyes darting aimlessly. 

“What?” He whispers once Baekhyun lowers his finger from his previous position. Chanyeol resists the internal urge to take a hold of his slender fingers.  
Baekhyun dashes through the back door, seemingly disconnected from his environment as he trudges systematically. 

“Let’s go, I’ll tell you when we get out of this place.” 

Chanyeol shrugs, following behind him.

“This may sound totally crazy, but… I’ve seen it with my own eyes!” Baekhyun bursts out and honestly, this is the most agitated he’s ever perceived him. 

“Let’s get to the point. What did you see?”

“Kyungsoo… and… S-sehun.” Baekhyun stutters, flicking his fringe away from his eyes. “They were…whispering to each other all close together and laughing like they were the only people left on Earth.”

“Do you think they’re…?”

“I feel so left out,” Baekhyun sinks his head into his knees. “It looks like they’re closer than ever. I feel like it wouldn’t make a difference if I showed up or not to our ‘dates.’”

Chanyeol pats Baekhyun’s back, hand travelling up to his nape to capture it into a firm grip, massaging the area he knows like the back of his hand. “Maybe, you should talk to them about it, if it’s really bothering you.”

“Okay,” Baekhyun sighs, leaning into his touch. “Let’s go buy Sehunnie that Stone Roses shirt he so desperately wanted for Christmas.”

 

 

 

The ring of the front door causes him to skew his eyeliner outwards his waterline. He whimpers in defeat, dabbing the area with his sister’s make up remover. He stares at his reflection on the body mirror found on Joohyun’s room. He scans his face, looking so different from his average self, with his bare face and ruffled hair. Now, Baekhyun can’t even recognize himself, eyes rimmed in kohl, his hair straight and pink. Furthermore, he thinks he doesn’t look half bad in a plaid shirt.  
He skips down the wooden stairs, creaking loudly with his every step. He opens the door and is baffled to find Chanyeol wearing something quite similar to him.

“Boo,” Baekhyun greets the taller male with a waving hand in front of his ~~handsome~~ startled face. He’d be a fool to not admit that his pushed back hair is gradually turning his legs into goo. It’s a pain to stare at that face, honestly. 

“Did you just steal my wardrobe?” Chanyeol inquires as he gives him a onceover. His legs tremble slightly, feeling self-conscious under his burning gaze. 

Baekhyun chuckles, “Do I pull it off well?”

“Hmm. And why did you decide to wear that of all days?”

“You see, I have mixed emotions right now, so I thought a checkered shirt in black and red could sum up my current mood.” 

Baekhyun had told Chanyeol about his habit long ago, when the taller noticed how the cotton candy haired boy changed the color of his outfits constantly. He thought he would laugh or mock him, but the other male just listened to him with a soft look on his eyes and Baekhyun couldn’t be more thankful for that. 

“You’re cute, Byun Baekhyun.” 

The smaller boy sputters, his heart beating so fast he felt like a hole would open up in his chest. He looks down, hiding a discreet smile before looking up and finding his eyes locking with his without wavering. 

He now understands what people mean when they say love is blind. Right now, he feels like it’s only just the two of them. Time stops every time their eyes find each other, he wishes he could grasp the tugging emotion in his hands, bottle it up in a jar so this—whatever they have—never ends.

*: ･ﾟ✧*: ･ﾟ✧

The birthday party goes by smoothly, Baekhyun even takes revenge on his taller friend by smudging cake icing all over his face, to which Sehun puts him in a headlock, letting him go once Kyungsoo tells him to. He’s glad to spend some quality time with them like the old days.

Baekhyun tugs at Chanyeol’s shirt, and the other male turns to him with a questioning glint in his eyes. 

“Do you want to go home?” Baekhyun whispers into his ear rather loudly, for the buzz of the music and lights is making him lightheaded. 

“Yours or mine?” Chanyeol asks him. 

“My house,” Baekhyun says as he smiles at him dazedly. 

The pair ride on Chanyeol’s bike, the smaller winding his arms around his frame, head leaning against the male’s broad back. His heartbeat pulsates steadily against his back, his breath tickling his nape. 

 

Baekhyun opens the front door of his home, legs teetering at a lame joke Chanyeol had just blurted out of nowhere. Their laugh dies off when they notice the figure standing at the counter. She stares at the pair, puzzled expression marring her features. 

“Hey… Joohyun,” Baekhyun clears his throat. “This is Chanyeol, but you already know him.” 

Joohyun nods, keeping a fixed gaze on the lanky male fidgeting with the buttons of his leather jacket. Her eyes soften at the nervous gesture. “Hello to you two.”

Chanyeol smiles faintly, while Baekhyun ushers him upstairs to his room. He lets his body fall on the fluffy mattress, turning to look at the male standing awkwardly at the front of the door. 

Baekhyun laughs softly. “It’s okay, come on in!” 

Chanyeol sits down on the bed stiffly, eyes roaming over the cream colored walls, a small desk located on the far right corner next to the window. He grazes the baby blue duvet, hoping the other boy didn’t see him. They fall into a reverie where they talk about their most profound thoughts, things Baekhyun wouldn’t normally tell anyone, but with Chanyeol it’s different. He feels like he’s known him for an eternity even though they’ve known each other for mere months. Deep down, he’s aware of the fact that goes beyond enjoying his company: Baekhyun likes him. 

After a while, the rose haired boy turns on the music from his cellphone, haunted by the spirited aura enveloping him. He starts by jumping on the bed, knowing the lyrics of the song by heart.

 

_You don't have to say I love you to say I love you_   
_Forget all the shooting stars and all the silver moons_   
_We've been making shades of purple out of red and blue_   
_Sickeningly sweet like honey, don't need money_   
_All I need is you_   
_All I need is you, you_

He offers a hand towards the other male, inviting him to dance with him, but Chanyeol shakes his head. 

“Come on, lighten up!” Baekhyun pokes his side until Chanyeol lets out a muffled laugh. 

“Is it okay… if I play a song I like?” The raven haired male utters unsurely. 

Baekhyun nods happily, and Chanyeol can already imagine his tail wagging adorably. 

The room is suddenly swathed by the melody of the piano blending beautifully with the passive yet resounding violin, transporting the boy into an era where assisting to balls and dressing up in gowns and suits was a banal occurrence. This time, Chanyeol is the one bringing Baekhyun closer, holding his hand in a dainty grip, eluding as if it were made of glass. They sway from side to side, and he can’t help but stare at the male in surprise. His other hand is placed on his waist, and Baekhyun’s heart is so weak, he can’t take it anymore. The song ends, and the pair stare at each other, contorting their faces simultaneously but failing to muffle their laughs of pure nervousness. They fall on the bed, still laughing when another classical melody plays, and Baekhyun clutches his stomach from both laughing too hard and the incessant butterflies fluttering frantically. 

Baekhyun realizes just how close they are, he can make out the galaxies on Chanyeol’s eyes, further twisting the turmoil on his insides. Out of instinct, his eyes flicker down to stare at his lips. He looks back up before he has the time to properly think about how soft and plump they look. Chanyeol is looking at his lips, too, making Baekhyun’s heart burn by his unwavering stare. They lock eyes, and he swears he could see the whole universe reflected in the other male’s dark orbs. Chanyeol makes the first move, gradually leaning closer to his face so their noses bump softly, until their lips meet in a chaste kiss. Chanyeol’s addicted to this feeling, he kisses him again with unveiled love reflected in his touch, cradling Baekhyun’s face. He can’t help but smile into the kiss when he feels the other boy timidly reciprocating the gesture, opening his mouth slightly to let out a whimper. They stop to catch their breaths, a feeling of ecstasy swathing both of them. Chanyeol gathers Baekhyun in his arms, circling his frame. Their legs tangle like they were meant to be attached.

“I love you, Baekhyun, I always have, I always will.” 

 

 

 

 

 

One sunny spring morning, he wakes up to the smell of sweetness wafting through his room. He shrugs on his slippers, skipping down the stairs when he feels something prickling in his right foot. He takes it off to properly scan the shoe, and is dumbfounded to find a post-it note pasted on the sole. 

_A fragment of your smile is enough to keep me alive._

He smiles, recognizing the owner of the tidy handwriting. 

As he gets to the first floor, he greets Joohyun and is more than surprised to see her wearing an apron. Of all days, why today?

“Oh. Baekhyunnie, you’re just on time,” Joohyun says, holding out a sealed vase from the refrigerator, “I made this for you. Happy Birthday, little brother.” 

How could he have forgotten about his own birthday? He mentally face-palms himself. He wonders what her sister cooked for him, he feels touched and loved, and it’s way too early to feel things. He stares as Joohyun unwraps the foil covering the plastic vase and she sets a strawberry cheesecake on the table with the letters ♡ B.B.H. ♡ ornamenting the topping of the dessert. 

“You didn’t have to…” 

Joohyun gathers a lone tear falling down his cheek. She clasps her arms around his quivering frame, lulling his wavering hiccups with her warm embrace. He felt apologetic for all those times they quarreled without a valid reason, further creating a wall that detached them from each other. 

 

 

 

 

_I’ve fallen for your voice, soft and tender; your thread of laughter that lures me in._

_I crave the feeling of your breathing tickling my nape, your dainty hands entwined with my trembling ones._

_I paint you in my head, I enshrine your features so that at night, my dreams are full of you._

_Darling, I’d lend you my eyes if I could, so long as you realize the eternal beauty you possess._

_You’re a star, glistening beyond my cerulean canvas. I’ve been blinded, and the only light I need is you._

 

The notes scribbled with heartfelt messages guide him towards the forest, until he stops in his tracks to stare in awe at the vision in front of him. Small sparks of flame flicker from the faint wind, the white lit candles lighten the usual route he takes to get to the glade. The trees are beautifully adorned with the colorful paper scattered systematically. He has to come closer in order to make out the words written on them. He gathers the small notes in his hands, carefully shielding them from the wind by garnering them inside his jean pockets. 

Baekhyun ambles closer to the glade, and finds a table cloth lying on the moss, light surrounding it like a halo. The atmosphere feels ethereal, the full moon staring down at him with all of its pristine beauty. 

He’s about to settle down on the cloth when a voice behind him makes him freeze. 

“You came… Happy Birthday, Baekhyun.” 

Baekhyun turns around to face the taller male. “Your notes… they’re beautiful,” he says, at a loss of words. Chanyeol is wearing a fedora hat, a denim shirt with the first buttons popped open, his lean frame clad in a gray trench coat. He swallows. Chanyeol couldn’t possibly have dressed up for him, right? 

In the midst of eating away the remnants of the snacks Chanyeol brought inside the picnic basket, the male digs down his pocket to take out a gold bracelet with a star charm clasped at the center. Baekhyun’s breath clogs in his throat, watching the raven haired male unbinding the hook to fasten the jewelry on his pale wrist. It feels cold against his skin, but Chanyeol’s touch evokes a blaze running through his veins. 

“I-I don’t know how to say this…” Chanyeol starts, looking everywhere but at him. “Somehow, that bracelet has always belonged to you.”

Baekhyun’s eyes widen. “What do you mean?” 

“I’ve hidden this bracelet through centuries, so that in each life I’m able to give it to you in hopes that you can remember me. Sometimes I succeed, but sadly, you seem to be constantly forgetting about your past lives.”

Baekhyun stands up, eyes glowing in fear. “Why are you telling me this now?” His legs tremble, aching to just run away, just like he’s used to when something unexpected in his life happens. 

“I understood one thing, I wanted you to fall in love with me, naturally. Not by means of fate, but because your sentiments were genuine.” 

Baekhyun feels the words _I did_ on the tip of his tongue, but his inner instinct beats him to it. He runs, dashing through the woods, until his vision is enveloped by darkness and he can’t recognize the area anymore. He hears steps coming closer, so he catches his breath and runs once again, agile steps filled with a fervor as he bites his bottom lip ruthlessly, in an effort to hold in the tears from clouding his sight. He halts when a voice calls his name with a tint of urgency, the same drip of tenderness from his dreams. He snaps out of it when he realizes he’s standing in the middle of the road. He submits to his touch in defeat as the taller guides him by the small of his back. 

 

“Why do you keep running from me?” Chanyeol whispers to him once they’re settled back in the forest. 

“I’m sorry…” Baekhyun says, failing to notice the rhetoric edge of his words. “I couldn’t take it, everything was so sudden.”

“That’s not the end of it.” 

Baekhyun looks up in disbelief, as Chanyeol fixes the smaller’s disgruntled locks. 

“Come, lets bring you home and I’ll tell you.”

 

Chanyeol starts off by telling Baekhyun of their unique ability to find each other through different lifetimes. In other words, he tells him they were meant to be together, and the remarkable sign of it are the marks imprinted on their skin. 

“Your star cluster birthmark…” 

“H-how?” Baekhyun grips his ankle self consciously. “Can you see right through me?”

Chanyeol shakes his head, “I wish I could. You’re hard to read sometimes.”

 _Says the person whose face lacks any expression._

“It’s not exactly a birthmark… I have one, too.”

Chanyeol lifts his shirt up, revealing a firm chest decorated with stars—no, it was far more than just stars. A whole universe glowed on his skin. In that moment, Baekhyun desired to be a star, just so he could become a part of Chanyeol’s universe.

“Beautiful, right?”

Baekhyun blushes, nodding his head in awe.

“It’s a vivid sign of our love—my love for you.” 

“Why do you have more stars?” Baekhyun wonders aloud.

“That’s because they symbolize the lives we’ve sought each other out… Almost always, I’m the first to find you.”

“H-how can that be…” 

Chanyeol’s eyes turn sad, the same flickering look Baekhyun has seen before and he hates it to the bone. “I don’t know, either. I like to believe of it majorly as a technical glitch. I don’t consider myself the most positive person in earth, but there’s always a glimmer of hope lingering inside me, that you’d remember me one day.”

Baekhyun remembers the voice calling his name, the electrifying response to the male’s faintest touch. “A while ago I saw something—a reminiscing of my past.”

Chanyeol’s eyes flicker with something he can’t quite pinpoint, so he continues. “In my dreams, I dreamt of you, I imagined you in my head, to the point of fooling myself that there was someone else out there.” He remembers the time he fantasized about the mysterious male, taking a bath on the lake by the forest, always clad in coats and hiding his face from him. His eyes light up, telling the taller male to wait there, as he made his way upstairs. He gasps when his eyes catch sight of the black trench coat hanging idly on his closet. He presses the rough cotton cloth against his nose, wafting in the clear scent of autumn one last time. 

He taps Chanyeol’s shoulder, letting the coat hang loosely off his shoulders. The male stares in confusion, grasping the cloth until his orbs flash with a hue akin to recognition. 

“It’s yours, right?” 

Chanyeol can only nod, finally understanding the meaning of Baekhyun’s previous words. He’d seen him. He can’t believe he shrugged off the feeling of his chest throbbing that time, how he thought he was being quiet about watching him from afar. As far fetched and creepy as it sounded, it was true. 

“Thank you for keeping an eye on me, all this time. I can only hope with time I can grow to love you with the same intensity as you do. I can safely admit that it’s impossible not to fall for you—I can’t help but want to be a part of your universe.” 

“You’ve always been more than just a part of my universe.” 

Baekhyun is falling, gradually but surely—and he’s definitely scared, for he’s never experienced anything like this before. But he knows that he has to let go and let his heart guide him through the journey, hoping that Chanyeol catches him at the end of his fall. His heart swells in fondness at the male sitting beside him, always next to him, even when he can’t see him. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Is it just me or are the stars shining brighter than the last time?” 

“They always seem bright to me.”

Baekhyun leans into his side, breath fanning softly as he whispers, “I don’t want to forget you,” into his ear. 

Chanyeol looks down at him, combing his locks through his calloused fingers. “It’s okay, I’d make you remember eventually.”

Baekhyun opens his mouth to protest further but is quietened by the touch of Chanyeol’s lips melting into his. He sighs into the kiss, opening his eyes slightly to find the sky turned a mauve shade, speckled stars overhead and the colliding galaxy he’d never seen. 

Another life may come sooner than later, but for now, he’s willing to bask in the feeling that Chanyeol’s mere presence brings him.

**Author's Note:**

> Mods' Notes: During the duration of BAE2016, we're kindly asking you to leave your reviews on [Livejournal](http://baeconandeggs.livejournal.com/36516.html). Thank you for reading!♥


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